ifellagan1017

yupppppp

2007-12-02T23:14:03Z

Home: things at home are good. i work alot so does the rest of the poeple living in my house and well im just tired alot from school and work so home is just a place to sleep for me at this moment in time

Work: Works alright been there alot pulling like 20 25 hours aweek wich to some isnt alot but at this job it is seeing that theres a million people who work there, im the only grunt thow so i guess thats good theres no one to suck up what little hours i do get some times. as for getting payed there i only get 7 an hour and yah that kinda blows.

School: school is school. it sucks and i want out. nuff said

Relationship: I think its good but then again i over think everything and i always think theres something wrong when theres not. but today there was. i think everythings better i have a habbit of pissing her off atleast twice a week guess im just that awsum. (that was sarcazum by the way) but yah today she was upset becuase i said happy birthday to an x so yah it was kinda messed up but she also went out on friday with some kid and smoked so i duno im just gonna forget everything but i made it clear that if shes gonna smoke i cant be with her, got to many pot heads in my family i dont need my GF as one of them. i told her that and she said that if i dont smoke anything than she wont smoke weed sounds fair to me. i love her and i dont want to lose her butsome times it seems its going that way more and more but i wont give up i love her.

Me: as for me iv said it before to poeple and im gonna say it again. im not changing myself for anyone i cant it just wouldnt be right. hope someone out there agrees with me.

LARPING: this past weekend i went to a larp with some poeple i play drakon with, it sucked because i missed the one day and i really wanna go because i havnt seen anyone in a very long time. but on the upside i got to larp with some poeple i havnt gotten to in a long time, the game was fun really hard fights all together its up there with drakon the one thing that made it just a little better was the cabins where done and heated and so was the tavern it was awsum. well yah thats how it was, i got the crap kicked out of me and i returned the favor, gah its not even monday and i feel like i got hit by a buss haha

long days and more to come

2007-11-24T07:22:29Z

This past week has been hell and so have the past couple weeks. the girl i love the first girl friend i can honistly say i love i never get to see. ever since november started iv done nothing but work. and when im not working she is. it sucks to have someone that you care so much about and not be able to do anything with them. and when we do hang out..... we argue about stuped shit really dumb stuff that we shouldnt even argue about but we do. does this suck yes it does. besidess that the fights never last long there just annoing little things that end soon after they start.

this past week. thanks giving week. has been hell. only had 2 and a half days of school and i worked pritty much every night. melissa was going to her relitives house this weekend so im not going to see her at all. the other night me and some friends went to the movies. and well melissa and i got in a kinda fight/argument over again something kinda dumb. she always seems to have something wrong but never ever tells me and if i ask she just tells me to shut up.and then when i dont ask her she thinks theres something wrong with me. basically we are both being dumb about the same thing. anyways i got out of the movie and she called and i called her when i got home and everything seemed cool. she then called me at 140 inthe morning and was crying (i felt like shit) she stated appologizing for everything and she had no reason to i was more wrong and an ass in the situation then her at all. anyways we were on the phone till just about 3 in the morning and well i thought we were going to break up it sounded like that conversation you know the one were 2 people just keep saying what do you want to do and shit it sucked luckally were still together and that makes me happy. i love her but i cant stand the argument and the fighting i absolutly hate fighting and things but i guess its something were gonna have to work on and hopfully it will all stop soon. the fighting that is. this may sound emo but i just dont feel anything right now for anyone just me being me.............. but i stil love her.

Right now im sitting in wallaces bacement with wallace, ian, jlec, kelly, and myself. we are drinkin a little not to much just enough to get myself a little buzzed well thats my rant. thats whats bothering me. any advice??? dont be aftrade to let me know.

Warrning: reading this may cause extream anal fire

2007-11-10T18:30:39Z

Warrning: this may not cause anal fire. it may if you have an anal fire issue but that would be random and id recomend not reading things that say it might happen.

This past week: this past week was alright not much happend i got to see melissa a couple times wich makes me happy, i got to hang out with some of my friend and it was jlecs bday so it was fun to go out to dinner and just chill.

School: school is boring, iv now tryed getting in trouble with some of my teachers just for the sake of a fun argument but to no avail. i think its because im a serior they just dont care. i did get my report card. lowest grade was a 77 wich isnt bad at all for me

Out side school: working on making my magic deck wich is going to be amazing! and well...... i never have the time or i do and i dont have the rest of the stuff i need but now i have it! just need to make it

Last night: Last night we went on a "vision quest" it was fun for the most part i got a little light headed and felt like i was walking on coulds for a little while only like 10 minutes. besides that we went to bobbys and chilled there. somehow im not sure how but one of my friends who i admit i dont call as much as i should got upset because no one called im and he said again for the millionth time that no one liked him. thats not true everyone does no one has a real problem that i know of but well it gets tossed at me and i dont know what to do with it so i end up tweeking out on poeple and well its not good. but as far as i know everything with that is all set, im just trying to keep people from hating eachother without getting them to hate me. besidse that the night was fun.

today: today i have work at 4 and before that im hangin out with pat and gary. i called joe but he was out chopping wood. tonight is monas brithday and i may be going and hanging out with al of them if things are still going on when im out of work. but at the same time, melissa wants to go out to dinner with people and i dont know what to do. hang out with my friends who i dont see all that much? or hang out with my girl friend that i love? i dont know but i do know by then end of tonight i will make my magic deck. anyone else think its weird taht thats my underlining goal? hahaha

PeAcE!

la de da de da

2007-10-10T01:57:08Z

Life
lots of things to say, dont know where to start. Im happy most of the time, im in a relationship with an awsum girl who makes me happy. but see there are some thing about me that i just cant change, i think alot. that is always a problem in everything. Someone said once that i dye my hair to run away from things......if this is true im not going ot admit it or not.

Getting jelous sucks i dontk now why i do it i just do i have nothing to be jellous of im told and i knwo thats true but some times theres just people you dont around or getting in the way of things or even if it seems that way. i dont know what it is i guess im just an ass. well i duno whats goin on im out thow peace

The sound that cars make.

2007-08-15T05:00:28Z

So today i was woken up by my mother. like normal. and she was all like. do you want a car, and i was like fuck yah. so then she continues to tell me that my sister is willing to sell me a car, so i bought it. it needs some work but besides that i like it, i just wont be able to drive it for 2 weeks or so.

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Doing my own thing kinda works, i asked girl out on a kinda date without really using the word "Date" and she said yah for the most part. it just sucks because i need to get my car fixt first!!!!!!!

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not much else to say. wish..... i duno not gonna even type it :P well im out.

James VS. Godzilla part 18

2007-08-14T04:18:45Z

Ok id like to start by saying that the name of this entry really has absolutly nothing to do with anything, i just couldnt think of anything better.

The past couple of days have been strange... make that the past couple of weeks. Nothings wrong. but nothings really good i guess you could say. I went camping with some of my friends people i dont hang with as much anymore and it was a good time. i might be going again this weekend with some people. Iv been goin to alot of party's recently wich is good and also bad, i mean i like the partys there always good fun and i get to see alot of my friends at once, some party's though have been better than others. the last one i went to kinda ended all boring i just ended up going home i didnt really drink all that much i wasnt in the mood i guess i kinda wanted someone there or w/e but i duno, the party before was amazing up untill drama somehow found me again.

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Iv recently found out that having feelings for people in more than just the hey i wanna be friends way gets you no where. every time i like someone it blows up in my face in one way or another that and i always seem to mess it up, so i said was gonna take a break with the whole relationship thing for a while and im sticking to that! if i dont i give all that read this permision to kick me in some fashon. but anyways..... I like someone, im not going to try and start anything with them, im just hangin out doin my own thing but all the same i still like someone i dont know if that makes any sence to anyone. but yah. I like this person and iv been told that i shouldnt waist my time because its not worth it. but i recently found out neither am i so whats the difference??? i don't know either. So i like this person and i dont know how the hell they feel about me but personly i dont really want to know because then well i duno things always change and i like the way they are now. I dont know if this girl knows i like them but personly i hope they dont, i have a feeling that it will make this alot different. and yes gary if you read this i know you know who im talking about. anyways i dont know whats going on with that and again maybe not knowing is the best thing.... i duno guess ill find out

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Ok So things at home are good for now, my brother.... still a random dick head hes been slightly better. my mom......... shes doin the whole im lonly im gonna date alot of people thing, i dont think she gets that if another guy trys to do the whole im your new dad things ill probably help him fall down a flight of stairs. but hey shit happens i cant help it if poeple just fall down stairs when im behind them.

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Work. work is funny, some times i absolutly hate it sometimes i dont, it really depends on who im workin with. all i know is that i need a job that pays more than 7$ and hour because well james needs to get a fuckin car.

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I hate when people say "Beggers Cant be Choosers" i dont know why it just bugs me, maybe im a begger and i wanna choose???? no clue it just pisses me off.

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Well thats my rant for whats goin on with me, hope you all enjoy reading if anyone even does
I hope things work out for me in the long run because that would make me a happy kid. well im gonna go now hope you enjoy this i know i had a good time finaly righting this all down well... peace out.

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wish i could hang with that person........

august 11, 2007

2007-08-11T16:44:41Z

So its the night after another party, it was a good time much like the others. didnt really drink to much wasnt really in the mood had to much on my mind. thats how its been for like 2 weeks now. i dont know what it is. i just have these things in my head like i like people but i dont, i care about people but i dont. its just gay because well i know liking people for me always ends up with me fucking it up, thats how it happend 90% of the time. but yah its just like i just wanna be happy. i mean i am happy when im with my friends but when im not i sit here on live journal and make posts like this. Blahh i duno i just think i need to chill and let what happens happen even though.... nothing is happening, but im not gonna chase it. that never works. well i work tonight people should come see me. i want one particular person to come see me but well.... thats not gonna happen. talk to you all later!

Pondering

2007-07-28T06:07:55Z

Ok so i was just posting on this thing, i got about half way down the page and the computer wigged out on me and deleted all the stuff i rote. but anyways iv been thinking alot, about everything partys, poeple, things at home, just everything. but i have been thinking alot and thinking makes me listen to music and music just makes me chill out, i get to forget about everything and everyone one its like im in my own world no one can bother me its great. Depending on what i listen to depends on how im feelin but no mater what it all helps out.

I have been wondering what is it gonna be like next party, am i gonna drink, am i gonna have fun, is there even gonna get a next party??? i dont know all things i wish i did know, because i want there to be a party but at the same time i dont its strange i kinda want scertan people to be there and i dont even know if i want them there. i duno its a whole messed up thing thats goin on in my head.

Its 203am, im bored and this movie still isnt over. everyone is still just sitting completly entertaind its funny, im just sitting here wanting to go home and i duno if thats even gonna happen. well im gonna go i think im gonna go get my MP3 player soon and just veg out im good at it. well my head is full of things thoughts people things i duno im going now hopfully ill be home soon. g'night or good morning depending on who reads this when.

every time

2007-07-19T03:22:43Z

so every time things are going good every time im happy every time i think nothing could go wrong something does........ i ask one little question one innocent little question, and thats it. i come to find out now almost a week later that i was "pushing" wich i wasnt. so this information is shitty to me so i ask the person i asked this question to and they said that they didnt know what i was talking about...... WTF! i dont think that she would lie.... now heres my question who the fuck is making shit up then, why would someone come to me and tell me that she said this? i dont fucking know. why cant people just leave me alone and let me be happy.i duno i dont get it maybe im just meant to have to deal with random shit............ w/e all i know is that its supposibly not true and thats good enugh for me now heres my problem i just feel like a dick now for bring it up and finding out its not true..... i suck.

So when theres not problems in my "love life" if i can call it that. there has to be problems in my work life. i sware assistant manager is trying to get me fired, she has done every thing from making money "dissapear" to making me late by not opening the gate in the morning so i can get in. this job was good, but its time for a new one, i just need a job that doesnt have a 4'9'' nazi trying to get me fired. one good thing is that the actual manager of the store is chill and says im a good kid and hasnt fallen for any of her shit yet. but i guess its only a matter of time i guess. well im out

peace

long ass day

2007-07-16T02:22:06Z

Today had to be the worst day at work. i had to work all effin day and it sucked it was wiked nice out till it started to rain from what i hear. Liz is back from the cape and i wish i could have been with her but her cousin is stayin over and she had to stay home but hey family should come first.

I have a strange feeling this week is going to be shitty much like the past 2 have been. ever since my dog died i havnt been able to sleep very well at night, i think im jsut use to having something in the house that will know what sup or something like that i really duno, but this week is prolly gonna suck because i have to work monday and tuesday. i get wednessday off, but then i work thursday and friday. People are suppost to be having a party and its suppost to be awsum and i really wanna go but theres no point in drinking well because i work till 10 and i dont even know how i would get there maybe someone can give me a ride from work? i dont know i hope though. Yah so i work the next day and at 3 and yes i know thats not early but its a 7 hour shift and im most likly going to call out. One good thing is me and liz are suppost to hang out tomorrow night when i get outta work and i hope we get to.

On another note my brother moved out a cupple weeks ago and yes i was very very excited.See things were going good with out him in the house. he didnt pick fights with me or my mom, he wasnt there to beet on me or just be ann ass bag. now he did leave are PS2 in the house wich was good seeing that he sold me game cube because well he sucks. plane and simle. but anyways, he left the PS2 and well i never really played it much before but i figured why not its there. so i got a game that im completly obsesed with because its amazing and yah, so everything was going good. i could play when ever i wanted and i put alot of effng hours into that game. so one day last week while i was at work my brother called me to say "Hi" becaue he "missed" me and my mom..... bull shit he wanted money or something because hes a bum. but i could be wrong he could have just wanted to say "Hi" or what ever it is he wanted to say. but yah i got home that night and i was gonna just stay home because poeple had to work the next day and i didnt feel like going out for an hour. i went down stares and i turnd on the light said hi to the kittens and well when i walked over to the book shelf where we put the PS2 it was gone. i called my brother and he said hed bring it back the next day...... its been almost a week. so i called him and well its gotten to the point where if i call he freaks out. i think he sold it. probably so he can buy more weed. i dont know all i know is that sometimes my brother sucks, and he doesnt give a shit what he takes from me or what he does with it.

Anyways thats my rant thows are just 3 little things that have been bothering me. but really besides that im great my gril friends back and i cant be happyer :D. now i just need to have a good week, then ill be very happy.

peace out.

p.s. im fucking starving

might begin to post again

2007-07-14T02:26:56Z

well its been a very long time since iv posted because well i stopped because well people were gay about things but i finaly dont care because well i found out what i did was exactly what everyone else does, and that is complain/bitch. so yah i have nothing to complain about cuz well everything is going good with me. Liz comes back tomorrow :D, and andrew Bday and i get to see poeple hopfully maybe have all the friends come and go swiming and give the kid a good bday. but yah theres a party tomorrow night and i wish i could go and i can, but i cant do anything because i have work at 1030 the next morning and yes i know thats not very early but still dont feel like going to work with a hang over again. so yah ima go back to the poeple dont know whats going on the rest of the night but its friday and i wanna do something but im broke. peace.

yah

2007-04-20T16:33:15Z

So yah things have sucked for the past like 3 weeks and i hate it. The girl who i really liked and she "really" liked me to just dropped me one day, her reason, she doesnt want to have to worry about poeple. wich is completly understandable. i was fine with that fine with the fact that she wanted to not that a "boy friend" but see one thing stuck in my head. did she still like me or was she over me? this question bothred me for about a week before i asked her, her answer was "I still like you as a friend, and more than a friend so dont worry" that wasnt the exact thing that i wanted to hear but still its good, i mean that could possible mean that something could come out of it again. . . right? well she said we would still hang and everything and now when i asked her if she wants to hang shes always got plans and i mean she does have alot of friends so does she really have plans? or is she doing what i think shes doing and making things up so she doesnt have to hang with me? i dont know and i wish i did. So the other night i had to ask her because it had been a little while and i was like hey should i even bother liking you the way i do anymore or am i just waisting my time. her answer, i dont know... im just enjoying being singal and not having to worry about guys and stuff. now thats fine she can do what she wants but heres where im getting wiked wiked jellous. she hangs out with alot of poeple and in her away message she said she was hanging with jay and roger, i know this kid jay, i dont know roger but yah im wondering, is she completly over me and lookin to be with this kid jay, did i mean anything at all to her? was i just someone that she went out with? i dont know and i wish i did, all i know is that im going to be blahh untill i get over her but i dont want to get over her i want things between us to be the same as they were before. Now thats my problem, im hiding it from people or i was, now i just dont care but no one reads this anyway its just someplace i can bitch. but yah iv been hiding it, not letting it bother me untill im alone and i start thinking wich is really bad. but anyways im heading out, hope she doent know i have live journal, or if she does i hope she doesnt check it. and all of you who are going to read this and call me an emo kid and tell me to get over it........ go fuck yourselfs ill get over it when i can.

Things

2007-03-03T19:29:19Z

Things happen :P. last night there was a shinding and poeple ended up being gay. i was one of them because i spent the whole night on the computer, but i really cant feel that bad because well i was talking to someone who i really really wanted to hang with but for some reason or another they couldnt hang. so i spent the night onlien with them and i was happy even if poeple at the party were getting agrivated that i was online but hey next time i wont thats all i can really say. but i wasnt the only one being gay. a person who wont be named decided that they could drive him wich well was a bad idea so it was stopped. i said some things to this person that were kinda harsh but hey they needed to be said and if they dont like me from now on well then i guess i lost a friend. i thnk ill get over it eventaly but i still feel like a wiked dick about it. Todays drakon and im excited well because i havnt played all winter, poeple arent going to be there because someone is truning 21 and well if i were old enught i wouldnt be going to drakon eather but im not so im going. i am torn though because i really really really wanna play Mech. i only played once but it was all day and it was amazing. but im sure ill ill get to play eventaly. well time for checken :P

Chillin chillin

2007-02-28T00:26:06Z

Well its been a really really long time since iv used this and wellll.............. im over it so anyways.

School- boring as hell but i met this girl who is well extreamly cool because she likes all the same shit i like. well wich is kinda hard to ever find.

Work- haha no job :P

Well im at tracis and i never knew ordering food could be so dam hard, poeple have been passing around the menue for a half hour now and sarah changed her mind so it took longer. but hey there done now peace to who ever reads this

up late at jdubs house

2006-07-31T05:20:47Z

Well right now im sittin up in wallace room singing to myself because im to self contious to do it infront of poeple. thats a big problem with me thats why i dont do alot of things that other poeple do. Iv been listening to people talk alot and well some times iv been the topic of the conversationl, sure that sucks but hey w/e it helps be refect. i guess what im trying to say is that everyone is different, everyone does different things. me iv got no selfesteem and i have to deal with that but hey it happends. thats probably why i hang on to things the way i do, sure i drop them after a while and i get over things but it is probably why i am the way i am. and another thing that gary said to me today that kinda made sence in some ways. He said i listen to the type of music i do because its a way of my letting out my "rage" or something like that, now i dont know if was just joking or if he was telling the truth but it kinda makes sence, but i also just like the music and if its a way of me "letting out my rage" well thats good its like a way i can vent because i dont do that anymore. but i do other things like me coloring my hair i did that because i wanted to but i herd poeple saying that i did it to put things behind me i thought thye were crazy and ignored it but it kinda made sence but i dont think i did i just did it becuase i like to color my hair sure i pisses off my rents but hey poeple actaly notace me when i do it, like right now things could be better im not the happyest kid in the world but no one gets it and i dont think poeple even notace i hid it as best i can or try to. but hey now poeple know its not gonna make a difference but now poeple know. so maybe i do do the things i do to forget about my problems or try and fix them or forget about them i dont know but i do it and i think im gonna keep on doing it well that was me babbling about stuff but there is one thing that hasnt change and thats the fact that for some reason i feel empty and i dont know why but it should stop well im out

PEACE!!

GAHH!!!!

2006-07-27T20:54:20Z

GAHHHH!!!!!!!! why is life so confusing. one minut everying is going great and im happy, then next my mom is yelling at me over something i have no controle of, i guess im retarted. i diyed my hair yesterday and i i guess thats ground for kicking out so shes thinking about makin me live with my dad, fuck that. thats all im gonna say. w/e life sucks some times and i just wish i new what was going on but hey ill never know gahh it drive me fuckin insain!!!!!!!!!!

Never the way i want it.......

2006-07-23T19:50:01Z

Wow my life is full of ups and downs, latly more downs. Things for me are constantly getting worse and then they get better for a little while then they start to fall again. Something like this has happend before and it took me a while to get over it, i didnt want to get over it but i had to it was something that i had to do for my own sake, this time i dont want to just give it up, i want to fight for it but in doing so i think im just going ot make things worse. No one can help with this issue because getting poeple involved will just make matters worse. but like i said its happend once before and i needed to get over it i had to, but i felt empty and alone, and i got over it but i feel like that again, i cant go to anyone because if i do then things will be said and everything will get messed up. i cant talked to my brother about it because well... when hes home he treats me like shit or just gives me the same advice and trust me it doesnt help, i cant go to my dad well because hes my dad and going to him with life problems well is the best thing he trys but hes not the advice person. my mom well she knows somethings rong with me because i havnt been acting the same at all but all she ever says is "get a job and things will get better" or "if you get a job you wont be missrible" and i dont know if missrible is the word i would use for how im feeling right now but its a close second. I started to pack up all my stuff the other day i was gonna move out and go to PA with some poeple but i couldnt do it, i cant just leave all my friends even though sometimes it doesnt feel like i have any. I just wish for once just for once things would go my way and i could be happy and i want my friends to be happy to and in order to keep my friends happy i have to be unhappy well for the time being. i cant just do what some poeple do and say fuck em because well im not like that my friends are like my family and i care for them all and ill do anything to keep them happy, even if it means that i have to be unhappy and feel fucking empty like i do now. This problem isnt going to go away well it will over time.... i just wish it could be different, i wish i could fight and not give up this time and try to make it different but i cant ill just end up hurting someone elese that a care about or myself. Maybe this is just happening because im a 17 and in high school, maybe this is how im suppost to feel and how things are suppost to be, maybe things will get better maybe they wont, i dont fucking know. all i know is that right now at this moment things suck and i hate it iv never wanted it to stop more than now, but to make matters worse if poeple read this there going to ask if im ok and then they will say that i know their there to help, but no one can help if they could id go to you, but if i do things will just get worse and the hurt will hurt more....... for once i want things to go my way for once i wish things could work but they never do. and to answer your question thats how im feeling right now. will it change i hope so and i hope for the better, so like always after i post something like this.... let the fucking rumers start they always do :(

Feelings

2006-07-17T18:47:28Z

Well lets start from the begining, i went to maine for a week with some friends some i know well and some i dont. it was cool to just hang out and chill out all week not really careing what time i go to bed or how tired ill be the next morning. in a cabbin with 22 people that i love being around is awsum it really is. the week was full of ups and downs good things and bad, more good than bad though. i found some things out that sucked and some that didnt. but hey im happy person now. iv decided that im giving up looking for someone though its not right i put myself out there and well its not me. im just going to do what i use to and just wait for someone to find me. its been about 5 days since iv been aback and well i final figured and found things out so i can get over it or at least try and its gonna take some time no dout about it but ill do it, and well being alone sucks and i dont think anyone knows how i feel but meh no one does no one will and thats how im going to keep it if something is going to happen then it will happen. loosing someone that you never had sucks and i know first hand................ but what can i fight for it, i plan on it i dont want to just give it up but maybe i have to maybe i should if i new what to do id do it but i dont so ill just have to wait and see what happens, maybe its the rong thing to do but i plan on fighting for it not giving up like i did before and if my friends dont help then w/e i dont care maybe this is something i should do on my own for once not have people pulling strings and ill do it myself. i cant always get hte easy way out but hey what can i do right? well this is the last poast im going to be making on here for a while or at least i think, i think i need to dissapear for a while, do my own thing leave massichusets for a while that or just get away some where i dont know all i know is that things are starting to suck again and i dont want them to but i cant stop them. so here it is my last poast for a little bit, i might go away i might not so to all my friends that read this if you do read this good by or not good by i dont know yet i need to think about some things well and for the rocord for anyone that might start the suicide rumer again i am not going to kill myslef ill that again for anyone that didnt get that i am not going to kill myself im not that dum i just need to chill and find the person that means alot to me so i can be happy

peace for a while

J-moy

leaving for maine

2006-07-08T17:42:41Z

Well today is the day we are leaving for maine. im sitting in sarahs room with jess while sarah showers. Mona went with dan to go pick up gary and then me, jess and sarah have to go get ian at his house soo we wont be on the road for like ummm what seems like another hour but meh we'll get there eventaly i just kinda wish we were there already. its gonna be fun a week up in maine on an island with all my frends well most my friends some cant go or didnt want to. well i dont know what else to right exceped that its gonna be amazing but hey im out

PEACE!!

Its been a while

2006-06-26T19:58:16Z

Well i completly forgot that i had a livejournal hahaha but i remember whitch is probably why im righting in it now haha. well its summer time for james and iv got 2 months of no school and its amazing. sleep late everyday, hopfully get a summer job, see people i never get to see but that doesnt seem to be happening. Rick and Angie, i havnt seen the two of you outside of drakon in forever i want to hang with you to its been a long time i sent you both PM buti dont know if youll ever get them. i free all the time now so i can actaly do things. lots have happend the past cupple weeks and i havnt talked to anyone about them well because im strange. but meainly i just wanna hang with my friends but in order to do that i need numbers. :P so people please contact me if you wanna hang i have freedom now so call me or something. well im out
PEACE!!

Strange things

2006-06-01T01:46:23Z

Well things just keep getting stranger and stranger. first my brother pisses off a junky and hes rip shit. and my mom gets dumped by her boy friend for no reason. and tonight we get a call from some unknown person saying and i quote

"hello ann, ann its me, its me ann, remember me"

and they hung up. i dont know who the fuck it is but this message is for you you sick fuck. if i ever find out who you are or if you ever lay a hand on my mother or anyone in my family i will find you and rip you a knew ass hole and then ill drag you to the cops myself. you sick fuck you better leave us alone. you better stay the fuck away from my family!!!

my week

2006-05-19T03:08:56Z

Well hello world. My week has been very interesting, lets start on saturday when i consider this week to begin. I have had my emo days and my not so emo days and the days that i felt completly empty and alone and then days that i had lost of fun and was the happyest kid ever. I lost the one i thought i loved this week but hey were friends now and thats better than anything right, im not going to give up though i think im going to keep fighting for her but not in the super romantic way more like in the way that ill let things work itself out. Iv also had a day where all i did was have fun and hang out with the people i love being around even though some others could have been there some i never see. Me and Dubcitty didnt have school all week because of the flooding and the fact that are school is so primitive it doesnt know how to stop water hahahahaha. Its late thursday night now and tomorrow and this weekend is DRAKON!!!! and i cant wait its gonna be wiked fun and on monday i think im going to hurting all over like normal but hey its worth it. Well right now its me ian and the wallace and well where effing bored and yes people i said effing why because i can. but anyway we are wiked bored and want to hang out with poeple but with are luck no one is going to call even though they say they will. so well end up calling them back and theyll be like blahh why are you calling us were in the middle of doing something.... and so on but hey were going to go for a drive now i think becuase theres no sence in sitting in this room all night. sooo poeple if you read this tonight please from the bottom of my heart pleace calll us and hang out because i dont wanna sit in this room all night again well

PEACE!!

I must be bypoler....

2006-05-17T00:26:01Z

Well iv come to a desition...... i am bipoler i dont know why but today was a wiked fucking goood day. i havnt had school at all this week because of rain and iv been getting the chance to hang out with all my friends and its wiked cool. i got to see rick, pat, sarah, joe, katie, gary, all good poeple iv been hanging with wallace the past like 5 days and its wiked cool. things that were bothering me the other night arnt realy bothering me anymore because i know whats going one for onece in my life hahaha. drakon is this friday and i dont have school this entire week because of flooding. so im a happy kid. things with sarah are cool were just frieds as far as i know and im fine with it for now, i wont stop liking her but hey what can i do i cant push for something she doesnt want. on a happyer note, iv gotten the chance to hang out with poeple i never get the chance to and because after this year there going to colage in NY its good, im gonna miss ya j-lec. but ya im listing to awsum fucking music and walls room with ian pat gary sarah and wallace. just good stuff hanging out. hopfully the night will get better like hang with more poeple like maybe see joe for once in the past like 2 weeks. hes been soooo buissy i never get to hang with him anymore it sucks. but hey im sure ill get the chance too well imt out

PEACE!!!

.......why cant i just be normal again.......

2006-05-16T00:37:13Z

This is my question.. Why..... why cant i just get over her, why cant i stop feeling the way i do, why does it feel like its all my fault even after everyone told me its not, why do i keep beeting myself up over this, hes a good friend of mine and i wish i could hang out with him more, shes the one i like, the one i fell for and shes the one who feel for him, all i want is for her to be happy all i ever wanted was that , and him i want him to be happy to hes a friend, i dont care if he hates me i dont care if he thinks im a peace of shit, hes a friend and i want him to be happy to...... i want them to be happy even if it means that ill have to keep crying over this and beeting myself up over something that iv been told isnt my fault. i feels like it will never get better it feels like im missing something and i dont know why. i dont see how i can like someone so much, iv never done it before and its fucked up that it has to happen now of all times. i want to keep her as a friend i realy do.... if i lost her as a friend i think id just move in with my dad and just get away from this maybe then it will stop the hurt. id be happy if we are friends but what i have now i dont wanna lose, and it would suck if i did. well i just wish i would feel better, i just wish things would get better. hopfully, things will soon. weather they end up together and im alone as long as were friends. it will hurt worse than it does not for a long time but ill get over it hopfully well i know i will but it hurts not and i hate it.. well i dont htink my question will ever be answered and i guess i should just get over it. but like iv said all i want is for her to be happy. thats all even if it means that im not. thats how much i care about her... but besides that life is good, hanging out with people and no school for the rest of the week. well ill see you guys eventaly.....

peace

better

2006-05-09T23:40:49Z

well im feeling better today even though shop sucked. but hey its just one of thows weeks ill get over it, and mr.hagan wasnt realy the dick today it was everyone else and the fact that i was working my ass off.

Drakon is in 2 weeks and i cant wait. i had so much fun last time minus the concution and i hope that this time is better. i still have to make new caustume and make my shield. i might be getting 2 bonus points for my history and if so then id have to make a bigger shield and so one. iv been practacing with a PVC sword and not my ultra light and im doing pirrty good i realy dont mind it all that much.

well im over tracis now even though shes at work, me, derick, wallace, and gary are here and waiting for her to get out but ill have to be home befor that. but tomorrows a half day and its going to be good and at like 3 something im going to be NPCing daves game and its gonna be fun. were playing rain or shine and i love it hehehe well im out

PEACE!!